Marriage Counselor's Dilemma

Religious Marriage Counselors and Same-Sex Couples

The LGBT community are also in relationships and they will also want to consult a marriage counselor from time to time. What happens when the marriage counselor who attracts the male or female couple is religious? Can a gay couple get an answer to their troubles from a religious counselor?

Illustration. Those photographed have nothing to do with the article (Photo: LightField Studios/Shutterstock)

Relationships are the essence of our lives. When it comes to our marital relationship, we all dream of love and warmth. When the situation is not like this, we may decide to contact a marriage counselor. We will talk, look at the problems and come to solutions. And what about the LGBT community who nowadays fight so much to get equal rights? They are also in relationships and they will also want to consult a marriage counselor from time to time. What happens when the marriage counselor who attracts the male or female couple is religious? Can a gay couple get an answer to their troubles from a religious counselor?

In a democratic country, it is forbidden to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. That is, a religious counselor cannot refuse to accept couples because they are homosexual. A same-sex couple can choose to be together and is entitled to receive service like anyone else.

And in that same democratic country, there is freedom of religion - a marriage counselor can choose to be religious even if his religion disqualifies same-sex couples. What about his conscience as a marriage counselor who strives to improve the relationships of those who turn to him to ease their suffering?

There is a question of efficiency here. Each marriage counselor has his own treatment method. He has his own theories about what a healthy relationship is. A religious Jewish counselor - is likely to believe, for example, that the family quality time that occurs on Shabbat is fundamental to the health of the relationship. A secular couple who does not observe Shabbat will see things differently. Shabbat for them is not what Shabbat is for religious people. Therefore, the desire of the counselor to recommend a secular couple to observe Shabbat will not lead to a harmonious counseling process.

The same goes for other areas in the relationship. It is true that a religious counselor cannot discriminate against a same-sex couple, but to the extent that the counselor believes that a true relationship occurs between a man and a woman, a harmonious counseling process will not be created if the counseling couple is same-sex. A same-sex couple will not benefit from guidance from a professional whose religion rules out such a fundamental thing in their relationship.

If so, the solution to the dilemma is for the religious marriage counselor and the same-sex couple to part as friends. It actually shows respect between the religious counselor and couples whose path is different from his.

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Well said. Religious counselors need to be clear about their views right upfront to prevent mutual waste of time and money.
A counselor 18.12.23

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