The silent anxiety that runs our lives | The Fear of Missing Out - The FOMO phenomenon

Who among us hasn't experienced the moment when they come across pictures from a friend's vacation or a wedding which they didn't attend, and immediately a disturbing feeling creeps into their heart that maybe they are missing something important? This feeling – the constant fear that a great experience is happening somewhere else without us – has become a common social and psychological phenomenon in recent years.

This phenomenon is known as FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and describes a situation in which the fear of missing out on an event, information or experience causes us real anxiety. In the connected digital age, many of us feel FOMO in our daily lives, sometimes without realizing how much it manages us.

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is a deep feeling that others are enjoying, achieving, or experiencing meaningful things when we are not. In other words, we are afraid that "something will happen without me." This feeling is accompanied by an almost compulsive urge to stay constantly informed and connected – constantly checking messages, news feeds, social networks – to make sure we haven't missed an opportunity for social interaction, an exciting event, or important information. FOMO often involves feelings of jealousy and comparison; When we think that others "live better" or, God forbid, have fun without us, our self-worth may suffer. Many describe it as a subtle feeling of social anxiety: restlessness that stems from the desire to be a part of everything that is happening, all the time.

Historical Background: How the Concept of FOMO Came to Be

The phenomenon of fear of losing experiences is not new, but the term "FOMO" itself was coined only at the end of the 20th century. Researchers in the field of marketing and behavior began to recognize this pattern as early as the 1990s. Dr. Dan Herman, an Israeli marketing strategist, was one of the first to describe this feeling as early as 1996 and even published the first academic article on the subject in 2000. A few years later, in 2004, an American entrepreneur named Patrick J. McGuinness popularized the acronym FOMO when he published an article in the Harvard Business School magazine introducing the concept to the general public. Since then, the fear of missing out has begun to permeate the public consciousness; In 2013, it was even officially added to the Oxford English Dictionary as a term describing the modern fear of being left out of business.

The phenomenon of FOMO in the age of social networks

The establishment of social networks in our daily lives has given the FOMO pattern unprecedented momentum. If in the past people could at most hear in retrospect that they missed a sensational event or incident, today we are exposed in real time to the abundance of updates from other people's lives. In the feed of any social network, everyone is seen smiling, traveling, having fun and fulfilling dreams – an ideal image that shows only the most positive and glamorous moments. Few people share moments of gray routine or feelings of missing out, thus creating the misleading impression that for "everyone" life is full of excitement and achievements. This constant exposure makes us constantly compare ourselves to others, and feel that at any given moment there is a social event, trend, or experience that we may miss if we are not alert.

The technological revolution has made FOMO an integral part of today's routine. Easy access to all platforms means that we are available and updated almost 24 hours a day – but enslaved to alerts and screens. Many people feel the urge to check their phone before they even open their eyes in the morning, and late at night they find it difficult to disconnect for fear that something "important" will happen while they sleep.

Phenomena such as a story that disappears after 24 hours or live broadcasts on the network encourage even more immediate viewing, so as not to stay out of the loop. Studies and surveys from recent years indicate that young people in particular suffer from FOMO: most Generation Y (born in the 1980s and 1990s) admitted that they have accepted almost every social invitation just for fear of missing out on something.

However, adults are not immune either – in an age of constant updates, even parents and career professionals find themselves worried that friends, colleagues, or family members will experience something without them. Thus, the cycle continues: technology creates an expectation that we will always be connected, and this expectation feeds and intensifies the fear of missing out.

The Psychological and Social Consequences of FOMO

FOMO has an emotional and social price. Although it is not officially defined as a mental disorder, the anxiety of missing out is recognized as a real psychological phenomenon with negative effects. Psychologically, people who experience FOMO on a regular basis report high levels of stress and anxiety. The feeling that "I always miss" can erode the sense of mental well-being: it brings with it chronic dissatisfaction, low mood, and sometimes even symptoms of depression. The constant comparison to others can create feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem – after all, if everyone enjoys it and I don't, maybe something about me isn't good enough. This creates a loop in which FOMO increases dissatisfaction, which in turn further increases FOMO. Studies have even found a correlation between a strong tendency to FOMO and a tendency to social anxiety and depression.

Ways to deal with FOMO

The phenomenon of missing out can be exhausting, but there are strategies to help reduce its impact. Here are some possible ways to deal with FOMO and regain control and calmness:

1) Limit the use of social media: One of the most effective ways to reduce FOMO is to control the amount of time and attention we spend on updates. Instead of checking every alert and feed instantly, you can set set times per day to check your social networks and messages. For example, deciding to check messages only every hour, or dedicating half an hour in the evening to scrolling news instead of looking at it all the time. Small steps like this break the compulsive habit. Some even choose to delete the social media apps from the phone for a while, or turn off push notifications, to avoid the temptation to take a look at any moment. Once the incessant flow of information is restricted, the pressure to be "constantly on top of things" naturally decreases.

2) Focus on the present moment: Another way to cope is to cultivate mindfulness and learn to truly be present in your own experiences. When you go out with friends, spend time with family, or engage in a fun hobby – try to direct all your attention to what is happening in the here and now. Try putting your phone aside during a social activity, and focus on the conversation, the flavors, the scenery, or what you're doing at the moment. If you still have a disturbing thought about what you might be missing somewhere else, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this moment, in which you are present, is more real and important than the images that run through your head. Breathing exercises or focusing on the senses (such as concentrating on the sounds and sights around you) can help calm anxiety. The more you practice "being in the moment", the more you discover that the fear of missing out is smaller, and the enjoyment of what is happening in the here and now increases.

3) Cultivate direct social connections: FOMO is sometimes fueled by a feeling of isolation or lack of belonging, so strengthening real connections in our lives can be very helpful. Instead of trying to follow the lives of dozens of "friends" online, invest in a good conversation with a close friend, a dinner with family members, or going on an intimate meeting with people you really love. Face-to-face contact, hugs, laughter together – all of these give a deep emotional satisfaction that is hard to get through a screen. When our social lives are fuller and more fulfilling in reality, the urge to seek social satisfaction in every corner of the internet decreases. In other words, the true belonging you feel when you spend time with people close to you can reduce the fear that something is happening without you, because you already feel part of something meaningful.

4) Understand what is hidden behind the feed: It is important to remember that the world that the web presents us with is only partial and filtered. People tend to share mostly their successes, entertainment, and smiles, rather than the less glamorous moments. So, when you feel that "everyone lives better than me," try reminding yourself that this is not necessarily the whole situation – you only see what that person has chosen to show. It is possible that the friend who uploads smiling photos from an event he attended feels lonely the next day, or that the colleague who always writes about her professional successes will not share the difficulties and failures in her life (and believe it or not, everyone has difficult moments in life). This understanding can release some of the stress: there is no person who does not miss something or face challenges, they are simply less visible.

5) Embrace the "joy of missing out": As a direct response to Fear of Missing Out, the term "Joy of Missing Out" (JOMO) was coined in the last era in humor – or loosely translated: joy in missing out. The idea is to reverse the perspective: instead of stressing out about what you might be losing, focus on what you gain when you actually give up. Any choice not to go to an event, not to join another chat group, or not to check messages in the middle of the night is also a choice of freedom and peace. You may have given up on a glamorous event, but you earned a relaxing evening at home that you can spend with family members or as quality time with yourself reading a book that you have wanted to read for a long time and did not come out. You may not have kept up to date with the news in the last few hours, but you have gained quality time with the children. Adopting the JOMO approach means allowing yourself to enjoy the decision not to do everything, and not to see it as a missed opportunity. Of course, it's not easy right away – especially for those who are always used to chasing updates – but you can try it in small steps: turn off your phone from evening until morning, or sometimes skip a less important social event and see that it's not the end of the world. The relief you feel may surprise you. Over time, you may find that you have "missed" a lot of stress and pressure, and you have gained peace of mind.