My Shattered Heart - What living in Israel since October 7th has really been like

I tried not to think about the war

On my doorstep

I stopped reading the news

but when I went grocery shopping,

Instead of seeing bread and tomatoes,

I saw soldiers with big black guns

So I stopped going shopping and ordered online

But I couldn't stop my ears from

hearing the fighter jets

And my Whatsapp from telling me that

It has been 'permitted for publication'

Which just means another soldier has been

Killed

Another life taken too soon

Another family shattered into bits

And I couldn't stop my son from telling me that

his friend's brother had been killed

serving in Gaza

So that I could wander my beautiful Israel

I couldn't stop myself from looking at pictures of

Wounded soldiers and trying to see if all

Their limbs were still attached

Because, you see, mine are

I can't get away from this brand new reality

As much as I try

It's always there

It's sights and sounds and a undercurrent

of devastation

And it's not just me - It's

All of us here in Israel