A family’s unbearable loss: 16 months after he lost his daughter at Nova, her father ends his life

Before tragedy fractured their world, the Bongardt family embodied the quiet joy of a life built with purpose in Israel’s Galilee. “Until that day, everything was excellent. We understood that the decision to immigrate to Israel was a good decision,” Anna Bongardt recalled, her voice heavy with the weight of what followed. She spoke of her husband Vladislav, who, 16 months after their daughter Sofia was murdered at the Nova festival on October 7, 2023, succumbed to an inner torment he could not voice, taking his own life ten days ago at the age of 48. “He didn’t share what he was going through,” Anna said. “He didn’t want help—and was eaten up from within.”

Sofia Bongardt, a vibrant 21-year-old fresh from her IDF service, loved red roses. She once told her family with a wistful smile, “After I die, make me a white grave and bring me a red rose.” That haunting wish became a ritual for Vladislav, who visited her white grave weekly, laying red roses in silent tribute to the daughter stolen from them. On October 7, Sofia and her childhood friend Liraz Nisan ventured to the Nova festival near Re’im, seeking a night of celebration. Instead, they met a brutal end as Hamas terrorists descended, killing them among hundreds of others in a massacre that claimed over 1,200 lives and plunged Israel into war.

A Life Uprooted

The Bongardts’ journey began in 2006 when Vladislav and Anna, a young couple from Ukraine, arrived in Carmiel with their four-year-old daughter Sofia. Here, in the rolling hills of northern Israel, they wove a new life—welcoming their second daughter, Avelina, 13 years ago, and working tirelessly to secure an apartment. “Vladislav’s dream was for us to have our own place, so the girls would have their own corner, something lasting after we’re gone,” Anna said. Theirs was a small, united family, grounded in hope and hard-earned stability.

Sofia thrived in Carmiel, blossoming into a “quiet and pleasant girl” who earned the affection of peers and teachers alike at Ort Pesgot School. “She always respected those around her and was very friendly,” recalled Adi Alon, her middle school teacher. After graduating, Sofia enlisted in the IDF, serving as a welfare NCO at the Training Base City until her discharge in December 2022. With her mandatory service behind her, she stood at the threshold of adulthood—optimistic, free, and inseparable from Liraz, her confidante since childhood.

That fateful weekend, as Simchat Torah drew to a close, Sofia and Liraz wavered between a party on the Sea of Galilee and the Nova festival. “In the end, they chose Nova and got tickets at the last minute,” Anna said. At 3 a.m., Sofia left their Carmiel home, picking up Liraz from Acre. By 6 a.m., they arrived at the festival. “Sofia was mature and responsible—I trusted her completely,” Anna said. “She’d update me when she arrived somewhere. At six, she wrote, ‘I’ve arrived.’”

A Day of Horror

Hours later, the sky erupted with rocket fire as Hamas launched its assault. “People said to lie on the ground and wait it out—she trusted the army so much,” Anna recalled. By 8 a.m., as the attack escalated, Sofia and Liraz fled toward Kibbutz Be’eri, joining 14 others in a desperate bid for safety. But the small shelter they reached became a trap. Terrorists fired relentlessly and lobbed grenades inside. Around 9 a.m., Liraz was hit, collapsing atop Sofia. At 11:30, Sofia made a final, brave attempt to escape—only to be gunned down outside.

The news shattered the Bongardts’ world. “On October 7, everything collapsed,” Anna said. Vladislav buried his grief, masking it with routine. He drove daily to his job at Rafael, where he worked in production after years at Elbit, earning praise for his diligence. Yet he confided in no one—not his colleagues, not his family. “He didn’t tell anyone at work his daughter was murdered,” Anna said. “He didn’t want pity.” Twice weekly, he carried red roses to Sofia’s grave, a silent communion with his lost child.

A Silent Descent

“We put on a mask and lived with the pain,” Anna said. “Vladislav didn’t share what he was going through.” Eleven days ago, on a Friday afternoon, the couple planned to visit Vladislav’s relatives after his uncle’s passing. Anna returned home and called him as agreed—no answer. She assumed he’d dozed off. Entering their apartment, she found him—and realized he had ended his suffering, leaving behind a void where their family once stood whole. Now, only Anna and Avelina remain in the Carmiel home that once rang with Sofia’s laughter.

“I will rise and cope,” Anna vowed, her resolve tempered by grief. “I need to support the household.” Her strength mirrors the resilience that drew the Bongardts to Israel nearly two decades ago—a dream now marred by unimaginable loss.

A Call for Support

If you or someone you know is in crisis, help is available. Contact ERAN at 1201 or visit their website, or reach out via the SAHAR Association online for support.

Walla contributed to this article.