Ariel Bibas's childhood friend struggles to process his death, "He's not dead, he is just in his room."

This was the case for 5-year-old Yoav Avital, a close friend of Ariel Bibas, whose life was taken by Hamas terrorists during the harrowing events of October 7, 2023. Ariel, his 9-month-old brother Kfir, and their mother Shiri were abducted and murdered, with their father Yarden being released only months later.

Yoav and Ariel had grown up together, inseparable from infancy. However, the traumatic events left Yoav struggling to understand the loss of his dear friend. His mother, Yamit Avital, shared the heart-wrenching story of Yoav’s grief at a rally of Kibbutz Nir Oz survivors in Kiryat Gat. During a gathering at the Eilat hotel in November 2023, after survivors had been evacuated, Yoav saw a photo of Ariel. The young boy, unable to contain the pain, cried out that Ariel was dead, then sought solace in the notion that his friend was somehow still alive, just "in his room."

"I didn’t know what to say; I just hugged him and cried,” Yamit recalled. As the days and months passed, Yoav’s anguish continued, marked by innocent yet painful questions about Ariel and Kfir. When news of a hostage swap surfaced, Yoav clung to hope that Ariel would soon return, asking when it would be his friend’s turn to come home.

Yoav’s pain went beyond simple questions. He even dictated a letter to his mother for Ariel, filled with childish imagination and a desperate hope that his friend would return. The letter read: "I want to draw Batman for you along with all the flying heroes so that you’ll feel like flying over Gaza and fight the bad guys with a bow and arrow. Then you’ll come back to us and be with us in kindergarten. I hope you buy yourself some sweets and a robe. I miss you."

Each day, Yoav's grief manifested in different ways. He asked his mother about the playground in Gaza, wondering if Ariel and Kfir were allowed to play like they had back on the kibbutz. He even believed that Ariel would return in time for Purim and asked to save a Batman costume for him, which Yoav later wore himself as he imagined flying to save his friend.

In conversations, Yoav wondered aloud if a "special potion" could bring Ariel back to life, displaying a child's unyielding desire to believe that the impossible was possible. However, as the days passed and Yoav came to understand more about life and death, the harsh reality began to sink in. When news arrived that some hostages would be released, Yoav’s questions became more pointed, asking with innocent confusion why Ariel hadn’t come back, his pain compounded by the sight of older hostages returning before the younger ones.

As the grief reached a breaking point, Yoav confronted his mother with the question: "So Ariel is dead? He won’t come back?" Yamit responded, struggling to find the right words. "I don’t know if he’ll come back alive." This moment marked the beginning of Yoav's painful process of saying goodbye to his beloved friend.

The months of waiting were full of hopeful anticipation, yet each time, Yoav's hopes were dashed as other hostages returned. "Where are Ariel, Kfir, and Shiri? Why aren’t they being brought back first?" Yoav wondered, struggling to reconcile the cruelty of the situation with the innocence of his heart.

In the face of such sorrow, Yoav’s imagination became a refuge. He asked if Ariel was flying in space or if, somehow, there was a way to bring him back to life. The possibility of reuniting with Ariel in his dreams offered some comfort, though it did little to ease the pain.

The heartbreaking journey through grief and loss was not limited to Yoav alone. His sister, Adi, recalled the last time the children saw Ariel, playing together in the cold pool, unaware of the tragic fate that awaited. "That was our farewell to them," Adi said, her words a bittersweet reflection of a childhood moment now tinged with sorrow.

Through all of this, Yoav’s family held onto the hope that one day, he would understand the finality of death, but in the meantime, they tried to offer him comfort, reminding him that his dreams could be a place where he could meet Ariel again and play with him once more.

In this painful story, Yoav’s grief was a reflection of the deep and unhealed wounds left by violence and terror. It is a story of the innocence of children in the face of unimaginable loss and their attempts to make sense of a world that no longer feels safe or secure. The pain of their loss is compounded by their search for answers, and the love they continue to hold for those who have been taken from them too soon.