"When is dad coming home?" Heartbreaking questions Tal Shoham's children wrote about his captivity

The Heartbreaking Questions of Tal Shoham’s Children: A "Question Sheet" from Gaza

On the weekend of October 7, 2023, Tal Shoham, his wife Adi, and their two young children, Naveh (8) and Yahel (3), visited Adi's parents for the Simchat Torah holiday. Their peaceful visit to the family home in Kibbutz Be’eri turned into a nightmare when Hamas terrorists launched an attack on the community. As the attack unfolded, Tal, Adi, and their children were kidnapped and taken to Gaza. After 50 harrowing days in captivity, Adi and the children were released on November 25, 2023, but Tal remained behind. Since then, the Shoham family has been enduring a profound emotional struggle, especially for the children, who have had to process the trauma of that terrifying day, the absence of their father, and the uncertainty of his fate.

In June 2024, Adi shared a heartbreaking document that her children, Naveh and Yahel, wrote during their captivity. This "question sheet," which was filled with the innocent but piercing questions of children trying to understand their situation, offers a glimpse into the emotional turmoil the Shoham family has endured. As a clinical psychologist, Adi has worked tirelessly to help her children navigate their trauma, but nothing could prepare them for the heartache they felt in the absence of their father.

The questions on the sheet were simple but incredibly painful. “When will we know if Dad is coming home?” they wrote. “Are there other fathers being held in Gaza?” These questions reflect the uncertainty and confusion experienced by children who were forcibly separated from their father and were left to grapple with a reality where other children were reunited with their fathers, but theirs was still missing. These innocent inquiries, written with crayon scribbles, shed light on how deeply these young children have been affected by the events that tore their family apart.

The sheet also contains questions that reflect the trauma the children witnessed during the attack on the kibbutz. Yahel, the youngest, who was just three years old at the time, vividly described the horrors she had experienced. “We see a lot of dads, just not our dad,” she said, drawing an image of her father with arms outstretched, waiting for a hug, but no one coming to him. This image symbolizes the immense yearning and confusion she felt in the absence of the comforting presence of her father.

In addition to the questions about their father’s return, the children also grappled with the events they witnessed during the attack. One question asked, "Why was that man outside shouting?" Another wrote, "Is it happening again like in Be’eri?" This indicated their fear that the violence might return, and they were unable to fully understand why it had occurred in the first place. They also asked deeply painful questions about the death of their grandfather. "How did they kill Grandpa? Did he see it coming, or was he surprised?" These reflections show the intense trauma the children faced and their desperate need for clarity about the horrific events they had witnessed.

The question sheet also contains the chilling query, "Mom, are we about to die?" The rawness and fear in that question encapsulate the unimaginable anxiety the children felt during their time in captivity. For young children who had already experienced so much horror, the fear of death was an ever-present reality.

As the Shoham family awaited Tal's return, these questions from their children serve as a stark reminder of the immense psychological toll of captivity, particularly on young minds who are unable to fully process or escape the trauma they experienced. The questions on the sheet are not just a plea for answers but a call for action: the return of their father is not just a matter of family reunion but a matter of emotional survival for these children.

Adi's message in sharing these painful questions was clear: “These are just fragments of our daily life. This has been our reality for far too long. We must bring Tal home to his grieving children—this is the most urgent, humane, and just action to take.” The Shoham family, especially the children, have been living in a prolonged state of trauma, awaiting their father's return. As the release of Tal Shoham approaches, the family and their supporters are holding onto hope that the long nightmare will soon end, and Tal will finally be reunited with his children, who have endured so much in his absence.