As Hanukkah candles were being lit across Israel Wednesday evening, Hadassah Ben Ari took to social media to share a raw and deeply personal account of her first holiday season since her divorce from renowned Israeli singer Hanan Ben Ari.
"I'm not 'his separated wife' - I'm divorced. I promise. It's written in my ID card," Ben Ari wrote, addressing persistent confusion about her marital status. The mother of seven, known for her resilience and spiritual strength, revealed a surprising vulnerability in her holiday message.
"Today, I couldn't see the sky through all this pain," she confessed, drawing parallels between her current state and the Hanukkah story. "It feels like lighting a Hanukkah candle from within this darkness of despair is something wonderful. Any lower than this would be... spinning like a dreidel?"
The deeply personal post began with Ben Ari reflecting on writer-filmmaker Yair Agmon's candid discussions of depression. "He's not afraid to be vulnerable," she wrote, before turning the lens on herself. "I don't usually have such low points. If I stay in bed too long, which is rare, I get up and stretch. Even after my last C-section, I got up in the middle of the night not to nurse but because it hurt to stay in the same position."
Ben Ari, who has been interviewing war widows in recent months, also shared how this work has affected her. "I've met wounded women, not just those I interview publicly, but those who reach out afterward to share their stories." While expressing gratitude for being trusted with these stories, she admitted to struggling with her own faith: "Today, for example, I don't feel God in the heavens."
Her candid admission about spiritual doubts marks a striking departure for Ben Ari, who has long been associated with Israel's religious music scene through her former marriage. "I want to write honestly," she noted, "but I'm afraid of my new followers."
As she navigates this transition, Ben Ari's willingness to share her journey has resonated with many facing similar challenges.
"I'm so happy to be that address for them," she wrote of those who reach out to her. "Happy that they share with me." Even as she acknowledges her own pain, Ben Ari continues to find meaning in supporting others through their difficulties, suggesting that light can indeed emerge from darkness.
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