Seminary students ask Rav Zilberstein: Where should Haredi women work? | Livelihood and more  

Over an extended period, students at the Shchransky Seminary in Tel Aviv collected questions about living a Torah life and how to establish a Torah-observant home.

The seminary principal, Rabbi Shchransky, decided to collect these questions and bring them to the home of Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein, where he presented them and the rabbi spent 20 minutes answering each question.

"Kikar HaShabbat" presents the questions, answers, and special documentation.

QUESTION 1: Must a girl prepare herself for "a life of hardship," or can she pray to have both a husband who studies Torah all day and abundant livelihood?

ANSWER: Every girl should pray for both things together - both for a husband who studies Torah all day and for abundant livelihood at home. The proof for this comes from the blessing of the new month where we pray and request: "May it be Your will, Lord our God and God of our fathers, that You renew this month for us for good and for blessing, and grant us long life, a life of peace, a life of goodness, a life of blessing, a life of sustenance... a life of wealth and honor." My brother-in-law, Maran HaGaon Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt"l noted in his prayer book regarding the Mishna in Avot (6:8) that wealth and honor for the righteous is fitting for them and fitting for the world. Of course, this is when everything serves for the service of the Blessed God.

The rabbi added: "However, girls who grew up in homes of distinguished Torah scholars, who absorbed the atmosphere of dedication to the holy Torah, know that even if they don't achieve prosperity and wealth, this is still a very high level, as stated in Ethics of the Fathers (6:4): 'This is the way of Torah: eat bread with salt, drink water in small measure, sleep on the ground, live a life of hardship, and toil in Torah - if you do this, happy are you in this world, and it will be good for you in the World to Come.'"

The rabbi further explained: "Rabbi Ovadia of Bartenura wrote that the Mishna means that even if this is one's situation, having only bread with salt and just a pillow and blanket to sleep on, nevertheless one should not refrain from studying Torah, for eventually one will study Torah in wealth. Similarly, the Tiferet Yisrael wrote that this is the way of Torah - meaning this is how learning begins, but eventually one will inherit all the good things in the world."

The rabbi continued: "A daughter who absorbed Torah dedication in her parents' home will be happy even in a life of hardship and won't take her husband away from learning because of these difficulties. However, daughters who grew up in homes of working people, who didn't see such dedication to Torah, truly aren't capable of this, and therefore they are permitted to pray that they merit both a husband who sits and learns all day and abundant livelihood, so they won't come to the test of taking their husband away from learning."

QUESTION 2: How much effort should one make to earn a livelihood while avoiding jobs that might compromise one's religious outlook and cause spiritual decline, God forbid?

ANSWER: "Everyone must be extremely careful not to take jobs that could compromise their religious outlook or cause any spiritual decline. There was a terrible case of a religious couple where the wife started working in an unsuitable place, and over time her spirituality declined until her husband told his friends a terrible statement: 'I have money, but I no longer have a wife...'

One must know that even if you can't find suitable work, and you search and search but don't find any, there is no room for leniency to work in a place that doesn't align with Torah values, as this is against God's will. What benefit is there in bringing income to the home when all that money is against Torah's will? There is no wisdom against God, and even in a family blessed with many children, where the wife can't find work, there is no alternative - working in an unsuitable place is not a solution or possibility at all. They should instead go to the neighborhood charity fund and similar sources, requesting support during this period until they find suitable work."

QUESTION 3: We know the Talmud's teaching (Brachos 17a) where Rav asked Rabbi Chiya, "By what merit do women earn the World to Come?" And he answered: "By bringing their children to learn in synagogue, by sending their husbands to study Torah in the study hall, and by waiting for them to return from studying Torah in another city." We want to ask, what is the place of a seminary girl in these years, when she isn't yet able to support her husband - how can she earn this merit now, and what should she pray for?

ANSWER: "She should pray that her future husband will grow in Torah and fear of Heaven, and that she'll merit to help him study and elevate himself further. It's known that the word 'woman' (אשה) has the same numerical value as 'honey' (דבש) [306], and just as honey transforms everything that enters it into honey (which is why honey is kosher despite bee legs falling into it), similarly, a woman can transform any husband she receives, even the lowest, into a great Torah scholar, like Devorah the Prophetess who transformed her husband into a great man and merited to judge Israel. As the commentators explain: Who is defined as an 'Eishes Chayil' (woman of valor)? She is the one about whom it's said 'Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land,' because a woman who enables her husband to sit with the scholars in the study hall and delve in Torah - she is a true woman of valor.

"We find something amazing in the holy Zohar (Parshat Shelach), which speaks of a special chamber of Batya, daughter of Pharaoh, where thousands and tens of thousands of righteous women are with her, and each one has places of light and pleasure without any crowding. Three times each day, announcements proclaim: 'Behold, the image of Moses, the faithful prophet, approaches!' And Batya goes out to a particular partition she has, sees Moses's image, bows before it, and says: 'Fortunate is my portion, that I raised this light,' and this is her special pleasure more than all others.

These words are truly incredible - that even Amram, Moses's father, and Yocheved aren't entitled to enter this partition, only Batya, daughter of Pharaoh. How can this be? The explanation appears to be that no one else sacrificed themselves for Moses - only Batya sacrificed herself for him, raising him in her father Pharaoh's house. After all, the entire decree of 'every newborn boy shall be thrown into the Nile' was made to eliminate Israel's savior, and ultimately Batya herself brought Moses into the king's house and raised him. Because she sacrificed herself to save Moses, only Batya merited this special privilege of being the only one who enters the partition and sees Moses.

From this, we can learn an enormous moral lesson: that every woman in our time who sacrifices herself so her husband can study Torah, despite all difficulties and troubles, can reach high and lofty levels, like Batya daughter of Pharaoh who sacrificed herself to save Moses and merited something that no one else ever did. And naturally, all of the husband's Torah study is credited to his righteous wife.

QUESTION 4: Should girls study the laws of Torah study to know what their husband's obligations are?

ANSWER: "It's a great mitzvah, because through this the wife will know how much her husband is obligated to use every moment for Torah study, and she'll direct him toward this rather than pulling him away for trips and other vanities.

The great Rabbi Yechezkel Sarna zt"l, head of Hevron Yeshiva, once came to a gathering of the Council of Torah Sages and asked those present: 'Who is the greatest Rosh Yeshiva in the world?' Each one answered and suggested different ideas, until Rabbi Sarna surprised them by saying: 'The greatest Rosh Yeshiva in the world was Sarah Schnerer, who established Bais Yaakov and thereby saved the entire Torah world.' Until then, yeshiva students were despised and lowly, and almost no Jewish daughters wanted to marry a yeshiva student who didn't work for his living. Thanks to her, the value of yeshiva students rose and became precious until today it's completely reversed - a daughter who seeks a husband who doesn't study Torah feels inferior. Sarah Schenirer succeeded in instilling and rooting the idea that Torah scholars are above everything, and this is the great and mighty aspiration that every Jewish daughter should strive for - to merit marrying a Torah scholar and assist him in sitting, studying, and contemplating Torah."

QUESTION 5: As we know that without Torah there is nothing in the world, we wanted to ask how a girl can develop well in her religious outlook, so that even in her workplaces after marriage, she will know how to answer those who mock her beliefs.

ANSWER: "It's known that even the nations of the world recognize that the Torah of Israel is truth. There's a story about a U.S. President who, when wrestling with weighty questions and not knowing how to act, would turn to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt"l for advice [such as regarding Siamese twins and other matters]. The Igros Moshe would explain everything to him from the words of our holy sages. Similarly, the Chazon Ish would draw detailed surgical instructions for doctors, despite never having studied medicine - all his brilliant wisdom was drawn from the holy Torah.

I myself witnessed this when I served as a rabbi in the Lucerne Yeshiva in Switzerland. One day, a judge from one of the cantons appeared looking for me. I wondered what he wanted, and he approached and asked: There's a non-Jew who murdered and I sentenced him to death, but after the sentence he went insane and completely lost his mind. I'm perplexed about what to do with him - whether to execute him or not, since he's completely insane.

He told me he had asked this question to Muslim scholars, who mocked him, saying just kill him and be done with it... Christian scholars told him, go to the Jews, there you'll find an answer to your question. He had heard I was the son-in-law of Rabbi Elyashiv zt"l, so he came to me.

Amazingly, on the last Shabbat when we were in the Holy Land before our trip to Switzerland, I saw my father-in-law zt"l late at night studying a book, then placing a note in it, closing it, and putting it in the cabinet. I approached afterward and checked, and saw it was the book 'Tzafnat Paneach,' which discusses exactly this question - about someone whom the court sentenced to death and then became insane, whether to execute him. It writes there that we cannot execute him because he needs to confess, so they should heal him, then he can confess, and only then execute him. Beyond the wonderful divine providence here, I was amazed at how even the nations of the world recognize and admit that everything is written in our holy Torah.

And this is the answer to your question about how women after marriage will remain strong in their pure and correct outlook - the answer is to listen to inspirational talks and Torah lessons, and to review and know that 'Blessed is our God who created us for His glory, separated us from those who stray, and planted eternal life within us.' Fortunate is the woman who strengthens herself in this, and she will merit all good in this world and the next."

Kikar HaShabbat contributed to this article.