A Lone Soldier's journey -  How serving in the IDF transformed my life forever

1) Can you tell us a little about your background before joining the IDF? What made you decide to serve as a lone soldier in Israel?

Originally I was never supposed to be a lone soldier as I had family with me in Israel in the run up to me drafting. But that all changed when they made the decision to move abroad after I had just finished school at 17. It was then that I knew I had to stay behind and serve in the IDF. I knew I wanted to continue living in Israel and figured if I was to have that privilege, the minimum I could do would be to draft and serve my time. Contributing my part seemed necessary and I knew it would help me acclimate to Israeli culture better. I felt it was the right thing to do, no matter the obstacles, so without hesitation that’s what I did. 

2) What were some of the biggest challenges you faced as a lone soldier when you first drafted?

I actually found that one of the hardest aspects of being a lone soldier wasn’t when you were on base but when you were home on leave. During the week I didn’t feel the difference between me and other soldiers since we were always together and all away from home. But when I got home it was hard, there were so many things that one takes for granted living with family that suddenly I had to do alone. Sorting the apartment, preparing for Shabbat, buying groceries, laundry, cooking, it felt like so much to do in such little time and was certainly a learning curve in being truly independent as a soldier living alone. Many don’t understand that it’s when you arrive at home after a long week or weeks on base you suddenly feel the weight of being alone, of not having family there to support you even just for the weekend.

3) How did you cope with being away from your family? 

I think deep down since I made the choice to stay behind in Israel and serve alone that made it easier in some aspects. It wasn’t necessarily easy, but I made sure to keep in contact with them whenever I could. During basic training every evening we were given allotted “free time” to shower, get ready for lights out, and call family so I made sure to use any time I got to be in touch with them, even if it was just 5 minutes to update them about my day. My mum would always pick up because she knew if she missed my call she wouldn’t know when she would next hear from me, that helped me feel like they were never far away. On base your fellow soldiers became your family and especially during basic training you build a bond with your friends which helps as well, you never feel alone, it really makes a difference. I was blessed my family didn’t live in a country with time difference from Israel as other lone soldiers I knew, especially those from America or Australia, barely got to speak to their families, that must have been really hard. 

4) What role did the lone soldier community play in your experience? Were there any support networks you relied on? 

During most of my service I served alongside other lone soldiers which was great as we has similar shared experiences, we would go out and spend weekends together when we were on leave. Nearly all of my close friends in the army were lone soldiers so it really felt like they got it, soldiers who had their families never fully understood what we were going through and that’s ok. 

In terms of support I was lucky in the area I lived to have families who “adopted” me and would invite me for Shabbat meals, Jewish holidays, or family events. I appreciated that so much as they made me never feel alone even on weekends, they showed me support and helped me feel a part of their family. That's a kindness I’ll never forget. 

5) As a lone soldier, how did you navigate the cultural differences and learn the language (if not already fluent)?

I think with cultural differences I struggled with more after my service which I will talk about later. In terms of speaking Hebrew I barely knew the language apart from being able to read and recite prayers. I was placed in a special program in the army with a 2.5 month basic training and Ulpan program and that made all the difference. By the end I was semi fluent and could understand the language as we were not allowed to speak anything else so that forced us to learn Hebrew fast. It’s one of the many skills I gained from service to finally be able to speak the language fluently after years of not speaking a word.

6) Looking back, how did serving in the IDF as a lone soldier shape you as a person?

I believe the IDF made me who I am today. Without serving I wouldn’t have learnt such lifelong skills so early in life. One of those was independence and having a strong outlook even amid challenges, something that the army embodies. I learned the importance of being part of something bigger and putting your country before your own wants and needs. To civilians who didn’t serve, 2 years is a long time, but I have yet to meet someone who regrets their service and all it taught them. As a lone soldier being in the army also helped me connect better to Israeli society and understand the culture better. 

7) What advice would you give to others who are considering joining the IDF as lone soldiers?

My top tips on drafting as a lone soldier would be:

Learn the language as much as you can, as it will help you receive a better position in the army.

When finding a place to stay try to rent with other people whether friends or fellow lone soldiers as this lowers the cost of rent and also helps you not feel as alone when you’re on leave.

Some army essentials might be cheaper to buy from your home country before making Aliyah, I found buying thermals, socks, army shirts and most other equipment was better quality, lasted longer, and was cheaper when bought abroad.

As much as you can, find your community, whether a tight friend group that feels more like family, or a local family that invites you over on Shabbat. Embrace that and hold that connection tight, as it will help you get through the tough points in your service to have someone to turn and confide in. 

For those who are not lone soldiers or Israeli families in general I would also advise to attempt to connect with lone soldiers in your community. If you see someone in uniform often alone talk to them, offer them a ride, or invite them to Shabbat, it can make all the difference. 

8) After completing your service, how did you transition back to civilian life? Were there challenges in adjusting to life outside the army?

It may be odd to admit, but finishing the army was one of the hardest adjustments I went through in my entire service. It was a struggle to lose one’s identity as a soldier and to suddenly become a civilian overnight. I found myself alone in facing all the challenges of civilian life with finding a job, studying, and off course all the bureaucracy that comes with living in Israel. You’re thrown into the deep end of Israeli culture and really have to teach yourself how to swim. You realise how important having structure and purpose in one’s life is. But don’t let this worry you, take things step by step and see it all as a learning experience, the difficult phase will pass. 

9) Do you think serving as a lone soldier changed your perspective on Israeli society or your place within it?

I believe serving in the IDF 100% had an impact on how I view army service and its importance. Seeing soldiers come alone from all of the world to serve in the IDF, and Israelis from broken homes living away from their families yet still joining the army really made me think about Israeli society as a whole. If we can do it and we can sacrifice those years why shouldn’t others. I think giving that time to carry the burden of Israeli security even just a little bit is essential and fully stand by the need for every, single, eligible 18 year old to draft and stand with the country as a whole. Since my service I looked at the bigger picture and saw the depths of security threats we as a nation face. I sadly believe that one of Israel’s greatest failures is its lack of equality in the draft sector and allowing certain civilians to avoid protecting Israel while others give their life defending it. To me this is what has created a major divide in Israel’s society, and the horrific events of October 7th should be a wake up call for all of us to do our part and serve.