On the morning of Shabbat, Simchat Torah 5784, Israel awoke to the sound of air raid sirens. Within a short period of time, it became clear that the country was at the beginning of one of the most challenging wars it has faced since its establishment. Dozens of terrorists infiltrated communities along the Gaza border and began carrying out massacres of men, women, and children. The State of Israel found itself in a harsh reality with more than a thousand casualties, including about 3,000 wounded and over a hundred prisoners and hostages, with the exact numbers still unknown.
How do you explain the difficult security situation to children and provide them with emotional support when the personal sense of security of the adults themselves has been shaken? This is a question that many parents are grappling with these hours. It is important to remember that young children experience the world around them to a large extent through the way we, as adults, mediate between them and reality. Our role as adults is to create a physically and emotionally secure environment for our children as much as possible.
Through short-term actions, we can provide our children with a sense of security. Young children's understanding of acts of terrorism and hatred is accompanied by a profound sense of fear, which is natural. My recommendation is that at a young age, we should focus on providing the appropriate conditions that give our children the feeling that we are protecting them. However, it is essential to bring the children to a state of cooperation with the guidelines in the situation of a red alert or the need to evacuate from their homes.
Actions that are recommended to be done and actions that are recommended to be avoided to ensure the emotional security of the children in the short term:
Preparing the children in advance for different situations, for example, for alarms
When it comes to protection from missiles, it's essential to prepare the children to follow predefined scenarios for reaching protected spaces. The more prepared a child is for expected behavior during emergencies, the quicker their response will be in most cases. It's important to tell children that they might hear sirens in different situations: in the car, during playtime, while showering, in the yard, and more. If there is a possible situation for evacuating from the house as part of the guidelines or a family decision, it's important for the children to be actively involved in preparing a bag with clothes and toys and knowing the bag's location until departure.
Sensitive listening and answering the children's questions
It's essential to be attentive to what the children say and encourage them to ask questions. For every question, it's important to provide a precise answer without adding extra information beyond what the children asked. In young children, thoughts and concerns can also be expressed through non-verbal means, such as imaginative play, drawing, building games, and more. Therefore, it's important to encourage them to play while observing them and understanding what engages and troubles them.
It's essential to be attentive to what children say and encourage them to ask questions. For every question, it's important to provide a precise answer without adding extra information beyond what the children asked. In young children, thoughts and concerns can also be expressed through non-verbal means, such as imaginative play, drawing, building games, and more. Therefore, it's important to encourage them to play while observing them and understanding what engages and troubles them.
It is important that the children see adults as an address and a source of support
During times of security emergency, much like in routine days, it's most important that young children know that we, the adults, are here for them. It's crucial to allow children to express their emotions, receive hugs, and assurance that the world is safe, and that we, the parents and the educational staff, are here for them. Young children don't understand the security and political situation thoroughly, and therefore, our role is to embrace them, provide warmth, and in this way, build a sense of security within the children during these challenging times.
Maintaining the routine
Maintaining a routine within secure borders, where the child is not in danger, is essential for providing a sense of security. It's also important, even during sensitive security situations, to uphold regular habits, behavioral rules, and boundaries both in kindergarten and at home. It's crucial to establish a daily schedule that considers the current circumstances.
Joint preparation of the protected space
It's important for children to participate in organizing and decorating the protected space. They should have a supply of games, creative materials, and soft objects that they like to cling to and that provide them with a sense of security.
Sharing the operational capabilities of Iron Dome
It's important for children to believe in the ability of the security forces to protect us. Conversations about the Iron Dome system help in dealing with missile attacks and reduce feelings of helplessness.
Minimize exposure to the news
Children are not prepared to cope with exposure to unnecessary news information. It's recommended that the radio not be tuned to news channels during car rides, and the television should not be set to news channels at home. Furthermore, it's advisable not to be glued to phones to get information and updates. However, it's essential to keep a channel open that allows hearing sirens, updates, and instructions.
Don't lie
It is impossible to guarantee children that no one will ever be harmed because anything can happen. However, it is crucial to assure them that maintaining security is the responsibility of the adults, who will do everything in their power to protect them.
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Professor Claudie Tal, a developmental psychologist, teaches in the M.Ed. program in Early Childhood Education at the Levinsky-Wingate Academic Center. She also teaches in the B.Ed. program in Early Childhood Education at Hamdat Academic College and is the author of the blog "Claudie Tal on Early Childhood Education."